Don’t Listen To Me.

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“Humans, when left to their own devises seem to be hopelessly selfish and bent on their own destruction. It seems unless a Power greater than us captures our hearts, nothing will change that trajectory. Wealth.Knowledge.Success. Seems to only feed the beast.”




Hillsong Concert and Prayer

HSC2 HSC1 HSC HSC3Alright guys, this is directly from my prayer journal so its gunna be pretty personal and kinda cheesy but that’s okay Jesus likes when I get cheesy with Him because I’m a pretty cheesy person : ) Anyway, the concert was an amazing experience and one I am so thankful I was able to be a part of. Musical Worship may be my favorite thing in the world! It is so spiritually refreshing. I get lost in praise and my mind goes almost completely blank; the only thought left lingering is the one of utter adoration for my Savior. This is quite a rare and precious experience for my vehemently chaotic mind. I wanted to share about the great night and I thought this was a lovely way to paint the picture for you. I wrote this right after getting home.

 Jesus, tonight during the concert i was praying for Your power to be seen. For Your Majesty to be unmistakable. For those that do not yet see that You are Lord to not be able to deny You any longer.
& Jesus, just a couple songs later i was worshiping–my eyes closed– i started noticing that i could still see so much. The brightness of the lights. The lasers shining off the stage. They were piercing through my closed eyes. The fact that light was there just outside of my shut lids; it was unmistakable. Undeniable.
& I smiled Jesus! I became warm with the symbolism of it all. Because of You Jesus even when i try to close you out even when i push You away, Your love for me is undeniable and i can see it.
Because of The Cross, Your radical grace, and Your blood poured out for me I see Your love always. You have chosen me, Jesus, to show mercy and love towards and i can not sing loud enough of all my love for You, God.
I pray Lord that everyone would know You this way.

Oh to be His Hands and Feet

Have you ever felt God is preparing you for something? That He is shaping your heart and teaching you things in this one specific area and you can feel it. You can feel Him moving you and guiding you. I can feel it. I know God is doing something in my heart right now. I mean He is always doing something in there; but as of the past 5 months or so I have had this feeling, this feeling that I am just on the verge of something big. This was very exciting initially. I thought I had figured out what the “big thing” was… however, with time I was shown that perhaps my hunch wasn’t so spot on. I can make Jesus seem so confusing at these times. I spend my time sitting around trying oh so hard to figure out what it is He is wanting me to do; where it is that He wants me to go. Though these questions are worth while to ask, they are not worth spending hours stressing over. I know that my job as a follower of Christ is to spend my life, everyday, glorifying the God that saved me.(Due6:5;Luke10:27) I begin to think “Just how in the world could possibly make all of these plans come together? How will doing these things affect the plans(dreams) that I have already? Am I willing to give up my idea of what my future should look like if God wants to lead me somewhere else? There is so much wrong with this thought process that it makes my head want to explode! How many times can a person think “me, me, me” without the word selfish just appearing permanently on their forehead? Because I have got to be close to my limit. This life is not about me.(Gen1:1) I do not live for my own glory but for His.(Rom9:17) It does not matter what my plans are. When my God calls me to move I should take off at a dead sprint!

How insane is it that He even wants to use me…ME?! Why in the world would the God of the universe desire me to do His Mighty work? Just typing that makes me so excited! I want to be used so badly! I want to be His hands and feet. I want a humble heart that can completely set me aside and awe at the Radiance of Jesus knowing that all things are made for Him and His glory. But how do we stay in this mind set? How do we create a heart that goes so against the flesh’s desire to be self centered? We must continually fill ourselves with His truth! Devouring the Word of God; taking it in for everything that it is. Life lives in those words! Sometimes I am so enamored with His love for me that I am literally left breathless. Why can’t I have this kind of reaction to Him all the time?! At what point will my fire for Him burn in a blinding blaze constantly? It is so easy for me to become disgusted with myself when I see my devotion slipping or when my spirit feels dry of His… it is in these moments I try to remind myself that I am not the first to fall into this trap of self deprecation and craving of the Spirit. David too struggled with these things— these dry seasons in his faith. When I turn to Psalm 51 I see our prayers are much the same:

“6 Behold, You delight in the Truth in the inward being,

and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me,

and I shall be whiter than snow.

8 Let me hear joy and gladness;

let the bones that You have broken rejoice.

9 Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,

and renew a right spirit within me.

11 Cast me not away from your presence,and

take not your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,

and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Genesis 1:1 “In the beginning GOD…”
Deuteronomy 6:5;Luke 10:27;Romans 9:17;Philippians 1:6;Pslams 51

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Seasons of Singleness. Part 1


If he wants her just for her body, that splits her. It means that she is good to him only for a part of her. That’s why when she’s slept with him, she wants to know where the relationship is headed. She wants to be integrated. She craves it. She wants to know that he will be there in the morning, and the next morning, and the next morning. She wants to know that beyond sex, he loves her, he wants her—all the time.”

There are many different seasons that come and go in the single life. For the past couple of years that season for me has mostly been one of contentment and peace. This calming knowledge that God has me in His hand. That I am being loved for a cared for in ways I can not comprehend and most of the time am not even aware of. This is a great season to be in.

Then, without the slightest warning of its arrival. A door has been smashed in and at once i become so aware of this consuming desire. A deep dehydration of a thirst i didn’t even know i had. It starts with a nice guy complimenting your appearance. Then a compliment to your quirky personality. Then a long hug because of course you want to be embraced by the guy that thinks your the greatest thing since sliced bread…even if he doesn’t know the Lord and you know that by doing this you are giving away little pieces of yourself. It feels so unexpectedly needed in that moment. And all the sudden you need more. More validation. More of his reaffirming compliments. More of the momentary peace that comes from being embraced by the one who adores you.

I am in a new season now.

“You want more! You want more! You really like it you want more!” That little girl understands me! That is my exact thoughts when my loving friends [praise Jesus for them] remind me that i must patiently wait for the one He has for me. “But guys! He said i was pretty!…Can’t i just let him tell me I’m pretty a couple hundred more times? This won’t effect my heart at all!” HA! If ever there was an advertisement pushing you to be in Christian community that was it. They remind us of Truth. And truth is, everything up until that point of more more more with a fellow lover of Jesus is beautiful and good. We must not forget that God doesn’t want us to have the thing that is almost beautiful… the thing that is kinda nice in the right light… He wants the real thing for us. The thing that won’t drain us leaving us wanting more. He wants the relationship that leads us back to the fountain that will forever satiate us.

“It is good to find a lover in this life
take her to the waters and never ever leave her dry
But my father always sang this chord
day by day, in every way
Set your eyes upon the Lord
Set your eyes upon the Lord “

Like this post? You might like The Four Loves by C.S Lewis