It’s not new but I still love it! Check it out : )
“Humans, when left to their own devises seem to be hopelessly selfish and bent on their own destruction. It seems unless a Power greater than us captures our hearts, nothing will change that trajectory. Wealth.Knowledge.Success. Seems to only feed the beast.”
I don’t know about you. But my early twenties have been very different than I expected. When I was in high school I would sit on the couch with my best friend Felicia and we would talk about all the places we were going to go and all of the things we were going to do and some how we actually got here. I am at that age. I am 23. Oh my how weird it is to say that… I’m pretty sure my mental age is still sittin’ pretty at 12.
What blows my mind most…scares me most is that I still seem to be so indecisive. So confused about the direction I want to go in and what exactly I am looking to get out of life. And the even scarier question: what can I give during my life.
I am reminded constantly that “this is normal” “most people your age feel confused and misguided” “everyone struggle with feeling a bit lost and alone during this ‘transitional’ time of life.” And though these reminders that I am not the only one on the struggle-bus of life it can still be very hard to cope with. Especially, in my experience, within the “Christian Bubble” as we call it. Everyone in the “bubble” seems to be set 10 years ahead the rest of the world. Getting married and having babies | all by age 25. I mean that’s great! And I can get crazy at a wedding with the best of them! Believe me! But this is not the path my life has taken and I am SO okay with that. The difficulty in this is that I feel like the odd ball out. I am still in the stage of life where I just like hanging out with friends all the time. Staying up late and making 2am Walmart runs for cookies still sounds fantastic to me! Spontaneous trips, hilarious embarrassing moments, and texting all through the day with your BFF even though you know you will see each other in like 2 hours… these things sound ideal to me. These are the things I crave in life. Full friendships. So much laughter that my abs hurt the next day. [2 birds | 1 hilarious stone]
Don’t get me wrong! I understand that I have more responsibilities now. Living paycheck to almost next paycheck is hard and I have to work hard to just keep my head above the water. Which can be draining in every way possible. But that stuff I understand more and I can fight through knowing that, this part, the financial part, is only a stage and that it won’t be like this forever. But the life part. The figuring it all out part. The trying to remind yourself that you aren’t failing just because your life looks differently from the person’s beside of you…and in front of you…and behind you…and well, pretty much every direction you look.
It’s okay to be confused and still figuring yourself out, right? Or is that a high-school/teenage angst thing that I was supposed to work out a few years ago?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and/or struggles : ) We can reassure each other that we aren’t too much of a hot mess!
This is Kelsey. She rocks what i’d call “relaxed edgy”. And i know you don’t need this abundance of pictures just to see one outfit but she was workin’ it so i got a little over excited a took about a million pictures : )
Do you ever feel alone when there are people all around you?
Like you must be the only one like you in the world because no one else seems to quite get it?
All the crazy and weird parts of you that is. And not just “get it” but share in the craziness and a the own splash to the weirdness party.
Do you feel like the people in your life are wonderful, beautiful, loving people…but the “click”. the being completely in sync… you just haven’t quite found it yet.
Like you seem to need everyone else a little bit more than they need you?
Do you just want a some people that you can sit with in complete silence with and never be uncomfortable?
And have to experience the ever so dreaded, Forced Conversation. UGH! That’s the WORST!
And maybe during those comfortable silences some interrupts with a really lame knock knock joke and you all laugh and laugh.
Not ironically or because that person is silly for thinking that could be funny, but because you all genuinely thought it was a hilarious joke.Genuineness. That’s a big this with me. Is it with you, too?
Oh oh! Or maybe you all decided to go outside and climb trees [even though its 11 at night] And no one thought that idea was anything but brilliance!!
Do you understand why anyone on the planet wouldn’t want to be in a flash mob?
Because I don’t. That sounds insanely fun. Why aren’t we all doing those on the regular?
Do you ever wish you could just go on a hike with Jesus and hold hands and tell Him all of your crazy dreams. And we’d chill and high five about cool stuff.
He’s the only one that seems to wanna do those things [the crazy dreams] too. Which is cool… but sometimes doesn’t feel like enough. And then after having that thought “Jesus isn’t enough…” you get to have a sweet batch of guilt for the next few days. Do you do that too?
Do you ever feel like you are the laziest ans yet most adventurous person you know?
Like you are never living life quite full enough…You aren’t truly experiencing all God has given you the opportunity to experience.
And on that train of thought. Are you the most fearless and yet most terrified person you know?
Do you just want to GO and SEE and BE all that you can in this life?
But you feel you are always falling just a bit short. Never really doing anything at all.
Do you ever feel ridiculous for allowing yourself to be so vulnerable as to share something like these feelings with the entire world?
I wore this outfit to church a couple of weeks ago and got so many compliments : )
I think its the mix of girly [the sweater] and edgy [those SA-WEET boots]
This is my go to. The girly – edgy mix.
In other news — i wear my hair like this often; as i don’t have many options right now with it being so short. People ask me how to do it allll the time. Its really very simple but I’m thinking of doing a quick tutorial on it. So keep a look out for that ; )
Oh yeah and my hair is brown now, so that’s cool.